What's the way?

Life is always so crazy.  And just when you think you have it all figured out, life throws something at you.  It usually isn't too big, just enough to slow you down just a tad.  Life is going good, and Hey!!! Where did that speed bump come in.  Right?

I am learning every day that as much as I think I have it together, there will be something that pops up.  And that is normal.  The house is clean-but i turn around, and it's a mess again.  The dishes are done.  No sooner are they put away and the sink is full again.  Time and time again, I tell myself, it isn't going to happen like this anymore.  Then I wake up the next morning and the cycle repeats itself.  Its the fun of being a full time working single parent to a busy little 6 yr old.  I try to keep her busy doing something rather than sitting in front of  the television-that usually means leaving the house a mess since we aren't in it to clean it up. How it gets messy under these circumstances still boggles my mind, but I guess that is meant for another post.

I started a new "diet"-or lifestyle-as I like to call it.  I have attempted a more Paleo/Primal way of eating.  Cutting out the grains and eliminating as much unnecessary sugars as possible.  What it comes down to is I am not eating the processed foods that I have gotten so use to.  From a lot of the reading that I have been doing, it has truly messed with my head.  As much as I have craved it over the last couple of days, I have been able to push past it.  My body is feeling better because of it as I enter in to the 3rd day here.  I did suffer from a headache (that I don't suffer from very often) that put a damper on my workouts that I had planned for last night and this morning, but I suppose that is normal when you rid your body of the junk, or so  I understand.   It's not really hard to understand that eating more natural diet is better for your body.  It's what it was designed for....not the potato chips we all dig in to at the family BBQ's.  Food today isn't what it use to be and it's actually kind of scary when you look at what you are actually eating when you think you are being good...even the low fat "healthier" version.  

I got off on a tangent there.  I wanted to share that, but also note that it take some time to plan out your meals.  Overall...fairly simple task, but it's not as easy normally as taking out the frozen dinner and popping it in the microwave or stopping for fast food on the way home.  

Life is about planning. You can't expect it just to fall in to place as much as you would like it to.  What are you willing to sacrifice in order to get what you want done? It certainly would be wonderful if the laundry got done , the floor vacuumed, or the house picked up and put away at the snap of the finger. My suggestion to you is:

1.)  Make a list of what you want? (clean home, financially stable future, new car)

2.)  Why is it important to you? 

3.)  Decide what you are willing to let go of in order to get you there?

It's the real world...we need to make it work the best we can.  It will. It always works out in the end.....or we likely wouldn't be here.

For now I can live with the cluttered unorganized home in order to get me where I want to be.  I am working towards a more financially secure future by working my Beachbody business in order to spend more time with my baby girl.  There will always be time later to get that stuff done, but my daughter will only be this age once, and before you know it....it's gone.

Independence

Today is my Independence Day of sorts.

I have been struggling with different things in my life for so long.  My weight.  My self esteem.  Other people's happiness. My relationship with food. My relationships with people. Today I am breaking free of that!

I woke up this morning and thought to myself; why have I constantly let so much control what makes me happy?  I guess in part it's always been my nature.  I like to see people happy, and that usually has meant putting a lot of my wants and needs on the back burner.  I have always chosen to let what others think of me influence what I do, and what I think of myself.  I can see that some of that was wanting to be part of something.  I know that in a past relationship, I let myself fall into what I thought he wanted me to be.  I ate the "wrong" foods because he made it, since he wouldn't eat the healthier food I made.  I realized it had to stop.  I had my issues with  food for a long time and what I was doing to myself wasn't making the situation any better.   I realized that if he wasn't happy with the person I was, was there really any hope for us to be together?  It was time to focus on getting healthier, and I started on the first part of the weight loss/fitness journey that I am on.

I have learned through reading, and through my own trial and error that my body responds better to certain foods.  I have learned that the better I eat, meaning clean and healthy, that my body works better.

There are 30 days in a month. There are 4 months left in 2012.  I am going to take full advantage of that time  in order to use what God has put in to my life. He has put certain people and opportunities in my life for a reason.

The Guilt

I did try to keep up daily with my blog.  I swear I did.  And now I feel guilty because I didn't follow through.

 It's hard trying to work 2 jobs, work to push forward with my Beachbody business, raise a kid, fit in my workouts, and all the other good stuff that goes along with life.

I have been doing ChaLEAN Extreme-with some Turbo Fire, and some running to keep up the cardio aspect.  I hit the gym for the elliptical if I can't do anything else.  In the 4 weeks or so that I have been doing it, I have gotten sick, which took me out of commission for a couple of weeks.  And now, do I move on to the next phase, or stick with the Burn phase one more week.   Some times my work & sleep schedule don't give me a ton of time to get some things done.  I still manage to do them, just not at the schedule I would like.

Here we are at the 3rd of April.  Am I where I want to be physically?  No.  Am I working on that?  Yup.  Could I be working harder, most definitely.  But lets face it, I have to sleep sometime-and wouldn't you know I feel guilty about that.  Stupid I know....but I do.  There are plenty of other things that could make me feel guilty, and to tell you the truth, they do. But, I am learning that sometimes what makes me feel guilty sometimes is what makes me a stronger person.  Give me something to think about.  Do I always make the right decision based on guilt.  Absolutely not.  At least not all of the time.  But it always does give me food for thought.  Something to build on to help me make a better decision.

It's like when you eat that cookie you know you shouldn't have eaten.  It makes you feel guilty. Right?  You worked so hard to push through that workout this morning, and poof-if you are me-you feel like it was all for nothing.  But I learn from that mistake, that guilty pleasure, and try to move past that, and remember that feeling for next time.  Is it really worth it?

Some of those things that make you feel guilty you have to remember are what help to keep you sane...that extra hour of sleep or that alone time (when you feel like you should be doing something else.)    Will I try to do a better job and keep this up....I am certainly going to try (and likely feel guilty when I get lax.)

The key is REMEMBER how you feel.  Was it worth it?